As is typical with 5 year olds, my son has a tendency to run everywhere he goes. Sometimes space is limited, so I try to prevent an accident before it happens. There are 2 approaches I have used, one that doesn’t work and one that does. First, the approach that doesn’t work:
Stop running!
and now, the approach that does work:
Use walking feet.
What is the difference? One focuses on the negative and what needs to be stopped. The more effective approach focuses on a positive solution and a solution.
Why am I saying this? Well, when we give evaluations in Toastmasters, we can choose between two approaches:
You may not be aware of it, but you had lots of ums and ahs in your speech.
or you could say:
I would like to see you add deliberate pauses between thoughts. Do this when practicing your speeches to reinforce the pattern. The pause can be really effective and much less distracting than an um or an ah.
The second approach is much more positive. It focuses on what the speaker can do and is very specific. You have given the speaker a tool to solve their problem.
Next time you give an evaluation, be positive and focus on the specifics of what the speaker can do. And if you would like your kids to stop doing something – try focusing on what you want them to do instead.
Posted under Toastmasters
This post was written by john on February 4, 2009
