Behavior #5 – Personalize your language
Jan 23
From The Art of Effective Evaluation, an examination of the 10 behaviors of an Effective Evaluator.
This one is simple. Use the word “I” and don’t use the word “You.” This rule of feedback will help in personal relationships as well. People are defensive when they hear the word “you.”
It is by no means easy to use “I” language, but it is something to start today. You can raise awareness of this in a number of ways. Make “you” a Grammarian trigger, hopefully with an audible alert so you know when it is being used.
“You” can be used when delivering positive feedback.
In addition, expressing your feelings is a good way to personalize your language. Note though that feeling statements don’t have “that” or “like” in them:
- I felt that you used notes a lot
- I felt like you did a great job with vocal variety
Instead, you need to work a little to get to the actual feeling:
- I felt distracted with the use of notes
- I felt engaged by the number of character voices used
Language choice is critical, and something that is useful every day.
