How often do we, as Table Topics Masters, ask a question, and not care about the answer?  I think it is most of the time.  I know I have been guilty of it.  Revelling in the genius of my questions, rather than caring about the answer.

I think we could make a huge difference in the quality of table topics if we first and foremost care about the answer we receive.  When we care about that answer, we will ask a different question.  Illiciting a story that engages the audience should be the goal.

Think about this the next time you are Table Topics Master and let me know how it goes.

Prior to the Dale Carnegie course I believed that conversation was a process by which I could demonstrate my cleverness, complain about what was bugging me, and argue with people in order to teach them how dumb they were. To me, listening was the same thing as being bored.  I figured it was the other person’s responsibility to find some entertainment in the conversation. That wasn’t my job. Yes, I was that asshole. But I didn’t know it. The good news is that once I learned the rules of conversation, I was socially reborn. It turns out that active listening is more fun than talking, although sometimes you need to guide the conversation toward common interests.

Where else can you learn about and practice active listening than at Toastmasters?

Update:

Scott has an additional post on active listening.  I find it useful to think of it this way.  If you talk, you only learn what you are saying.  If you listen, you learn what someone else is saying.

http://toastmaster-liza.blogspot.com/2010/05/welcome-to-my-toastmasters-blog.html

If you have posted your Toastmasters contest experience on your blog, please post a link in the comments.

Most people work hard to find artful ways to say very little. Instead of polishing that turd, why not work harder to think of something remarkable or important to say in the first place?

Keith answered and was receptive to hearing my feedback. I was in his studio delivering my bad review within an hour. Within two hours, he had offered me a job helping with his game. That was sixteen years ago. I’ve been happily working as a game designer ever since.

The post is well worth reading.

Perhaps one criticism in a hundred is actually a useful and generous contribution in your quest to reorganize things for the better.

Elevate your evaluations to really give the recipient the ammunition they need to make a difference.

Maybe time to start thinking about creating that app???

An evaluation that delivers much needed feedback to a speaker delivered in a poor style will not likely win a contest, and most likely will alienate the speaker. The advice will be ignored.

On the other hand a vacuous evaluation delivered with poise and panache will give you a fantastic chance of winning a contest, but will be of little benefit to the speaker.

Clearly, style AND substance would be preferred. It is quite a challenge to deliver an effective evaluation with style, but it is possible. This should win any contest, but sometimes does not. Why?

I believe that you need to have style and substance that are congruent with each other. Your presentation style needs to match the content. If you suggest having bigger gestures, your gestures should be bigger, but not uncomfortably so. In other words, if you wouldn’t take your own advice, why are you giving it?

Now, there’s an argument for needing to give advice to internalize it ourselves. I have done this and it is a great mechanism for personal improvement. Just don’t expect to win higher level contests if you don’t talk the talk yourself.

1. Top 10 highest paid speakers in the world.
2. 50 incredible historical speeches you can watch online.

Or you could check out both